Hah! You thought the gnomes had gotten to me, didn't you, Gentle Reader? I know it's been quite awhile. I mean, I haven't posted since 2015! No doubt the Gnomish Agenda has advanced in the past eight years. Well, I'm still here, and I'm still loathing gnomes.
To that end, a definite gnomish thing is the concept of the one-man band. I'm not talking Nine Inch Nails, here (not gnomish, despite being a one-man band), but, rather, those hapless souls you might see performing at festivals and street fairs, trying to do what, exactly? Make beautiful music? Impress tourists with their industriously brazen moxie? I don't know.
Is it a life sentence? Do one-man bands do this for their entire lives? Or until they hurl themselves off bridges? I'm not sure, but there are few contraptions (?) more resolutely gnomish than the one-man band.
The next time you're at a street festival or fair, or in any kind of public setting and you see a one-man band performing, know that this poor soul has been cursed by gnomes.
Or, perhaps worse, they're gnomish-adjacent madmen who aspire toward gnomedom.
