1: Balloon Animals

Balloon animals are inherently gnomish. Look! It's an animal made out of balloons! Never saw THAT coming, didja?

I don't like gnomes

Gnomes are annoying. I loathe gnomes. Like when people kidnap garden gnomes and take pictures of them going around the world? I support that. I fully support gnome-kidnapping. Not because I believe gnomes should be liberated, so much as gnomes are a bane.

This blog is dedicated to all things gnomish, that you might better understand just what is annoying and horrible about gnomes.

"But gnomes don't exist," you might protest. Of course. But gnomish things, what they represent -- that toxic blend of pointless, twinkle-eyed whimsy -- that is a dire threat that must be protected against.

You have been warned. Run while you still can.

Battle not with gnomes, lest you become one.