GWD: Rinky-Dink

Yet another gnome word, reflecting gnomish aesthetics, or lack thereof. This probably reflects the gnomish penchant for pawning off inferior merchandise to unwary humans...

rinky-dink
adj.
1. Old-fashioned; worn-out.
2. Insignificant; unimportant.
3. Of cheap or poor quality; makeshift.
n.
One that is regarded as old-fashioned, worn-out, insignificant, or cheap in quality.

GWD: Hanky-Panky

You thought I'd run out of gnomespeak vocabulary, didn't you? I so haven't. Here's another gnomish word, and, as ever, it embodies all things gnomish. Other dictionaries list it as originating ~1841, although its origins are unknown, as is the case with all gnomish words. The first two meanings are the most gnomish, of course, although I wouldn't put lechery out of the purview of gnomish activity, to be honest. They seem like they'd be all for a little hanky-panky -- hell, a gnome would probably use that as an opportunity to whip out a handkerchief and make some kind of soul-killing pun to that effect.

hanky-panky

n Informal
1. dubious or suspicious behavior
2. foolish behavior or talk
3. illicit sexual relations

[variant of hocus-pocus]

42 and 43: The Traveling Gnome and the Travelocity Gnome

Look, I really tried to ignore it, but the "Traveling Gnome" of Travelocity fame (or infamy) bothers me nearly as much as the Traveling Gnome meme of years past. While I heartily endorse gnomenapping, just do the decent thing and bury them in an unmarked grave or something (maybe hitting them a few times with a shovel, for good measure); don't waste time and life energy transporting the gnome around with you, snapping photographs of it. Travelocity gamely (or, as I would put it, lamely) picked up the Traveling Gnome idea and ran into the endzone with it. Over and over and over again. And it's not even a terribly gnomish gnome -- it's like a Corporate Gnome(tm) -- look at the blank expression on its face, the concealed hands -- it's a gnome that means business, literally and figuratively. The Travelocity Gnome is a gangster. And so it's even more of a fraud than gnomes in general, who strive for nothing more than being whimsical nuisances. You're expected to simply trust this gnome with your travel arrangements? Good luck with that, Bud. You're going to end up in a mushroom forest, naked, with an apple in your mouth, and no memory of how you got there. That is a gnomish idea of a "nice trip."

I can almost imagine the company artist being charged with crafting a gnome for Travelocity, them saying "Look, we want a gnome, like those Traveling Gnomes, right? But he can't look too impish -- we want to convey the idea of the Traveling Gnome, without it being too, well, in your face. We want a gnome who has no agenda except bringing good savings to people in the market to travel. Can you do this?" And the artist said "Sure." and the Travelocity Gnome was born.

GWD: Humdrum

I'm surprised I overlooked this time-honored gnomeword. No doubt this is one that gnomes crafted when the were bored. Instead of saying "This is boring" the damned gnomes had to say something like "This is so humdrum!" Which probably prompted whatever non-gnome around them to say "What the fuck are you even saying? Why don't you get off that fucking mushroom and talk clearly?"

hum·drum

adj.
Lacking variety or excitement; dull. See Synonyms at boring, dull.
n.
Monotonous talk or routine.
[Probably from hum.]

41: Gnomeo and Juliet

Who said this would be a good idea? Fucking gnomes, that's who. Bad pun. Hope it bombs. I consider this gnomish agitprop...

40: Half-Life 2: Episode 2

I loved Half-Life. A true classic game. And Half-Life 2, a fantastic sequel. Truly, truly awesome. And the Episode 1 add-on? Amazing. Episode 2, also awesome. However, I was horrified to notice that there's a gnome in the fucking game. An indestructible gnome that you can, if you choose, carry with you...

I lost my gnome early in the game, where he didn't reappear, thankfully, since I'd have been tempted to drag that lil' fucker throughout the game. Even my beloved Half-Life is not gnome-free!

GWD: Hornswoggle

I know the origin of this word: gnomes. Only a gnome would invent a word like "hornswoggle."

horn·swog·gle

tr.v. horn·swog·gled, horn·swog·gling, horn·swog·gles Chiefly Northern & Western U.S.

To bamboozle; deceive.

---

[Origin unknown.]

Our Living Language We do not know the origin of hornswoggle. We do know that it belongs to a group of "fancified" words that were particularly popular in the American West in the 19th century. Hornswoggle is one of the earliest, first appearing around 1829. It is possible that these words were invented to poke fun at the more "sophisticated" East. Some other words of this ilk are absquatulate, also first appearing in the 1820s, skedaddle, first attested in 1861 in Missouri, and discombobulate, first recorded in 1916.

39: Prog Rock

Now, you might think Elves are to blame for Progressive Rock, aka "Prog Rock." And I'm going to at least lay some of the blame on them for it, but not all of it. But, at the same time, I can't rule out a certain Gnomish influence to Prog. I think it's the evoking of faraway places and mystical realms that seems goddamned gnomish, as well as the sheer self-indulgent pointlessness of Prog.

Or maybe it's because one of the most horrid of Prog Rock bands has a gnome on their album. Oh, sure, it's a "gentle giant" (just like the band, get it?) -- but looking at that painting, you know what I see? A gnome. In fact, my first instinct is like "Wow, that gnome shrunk the band!"

GWD: Dillydally

Another gnomish nonsense compound that I had overlooked, likely because I was dillydallying. They can strip out the hyphen, but the gnomish aesthetic remains intact...

dil·ly·dal·ly

Pronunciation: \ˈdi-lē-ˌda-lē\

Function: intransitive verb

Etymology: reduplication of dally

Date: 1741

: to waste time by loitering or delaying : dawdle

GWD: Hoity-Toity

And you thought I'd been kidnapped by gnomes, right? It's interesting that the second definition of hoity-toity has come to largely dominated the popular understanding, overlooking the original, decidedly gnomish nature of the word.

¹hoi·ty–toi·ty

Pronunciation: \ˌhȯi-tē-ˈtȯi-tē, ˌhī-tē-ˈtī-tē\

Function: noun

Etymology: rhyming compound from English dial. hoit to play the fool

Date: 1668

: thoughtless giddy behavior


²hoi·ty–toi·ty

Pronunciation: \ˌhȯi-tē-ˈtȯi-tē, ˌhī-tē-ˈtī-tē\

Function: noun

Etymology: rhyming compound from English dial. hoit to play the fool

Date: 1668

:1 thoughtlessly silly or frivolous: FLIGHTY 2 marked by an air of assumed importance: HIGHFALUTIN

GWD: Shilly-Shally

You thought I had run out of nonsense hyphenated compounds? Not yet! And, as ever, the gnomish values of sowing confusion and uncertainty among human ranks remain intact with this word, as with so many of the others. This one is particularly egregious, since it sounds like you're drunkenly saying your friend Sally is being silly...

shilly–shally

Pronunciation: \ˈshi-lē-ˌsha-lē\

Function: adverb

Etymology: irregular reduplication of shall I

Date: 1700

: in an irresolute, undecided, or hesitating manner

38: Message T-shirts

The natural travel companion of the wacky hat is the message t-shirt. This is the tee that communicates something stupid (or, in gnome terms, "funny") to the onlooker. I suspect this is a gnomish sartorial prank perpetrated on unwary humans. You should know what you're getting into with a person who wears such things, although I do like this spin on the classic gnome "I'm With Stupid" tee shirt...

Yes, you certainly are, you damned gnome.

37: Spam

I can't be 100% certain if Spam is, in fact, crafted by gnomes (perhaps as a culinary prank inflicted on unsuspecting humanity), but there is something very intuitively gnomish about it.

The word itself, a fusion of other words, the senselessness of it, the gratuitous nature of it. And the product itself. Spam just seems like something a gnome would serve up to you, grinning slyly. Its whole "mystery meat" nature feels gnomish to me. Why eat real meat when you can crack open a can of Spam and nosh on that, instead? The fact that so many of the ad campaigns involved rhyming, too -- that also feels very gnomish to me, too.