GWD: Humdrum

I'm surprised I overlooked this time-honored gnomeword. No doubt this is one that gnomes crafted when the were bored. Instead of saying "This is boring" the damned gnomes had to say something like "This is so humdrum!" Which probably prompted whatever non-gnome around them to say "What the fuck are you even saying? Why don't you get off that fucking mushroom and talk clearly?"

hum·drum

adj.
Lacking variety or excitement; dull. See Synonyms at boring, dull.
n.
Monotonous talk or routine.
[Probably from hum.]

41: Gnomeo and Juliet

Who said this would be a good idea? Fucking gnomes, that's who. Bad pun. Hope it bombs. I consider this gnomish agitprop...

40: Half-Life 2: Episode 2

I loved Half-Life. A true classic game. And Half-Life 2, a fantastic sequel. Truly, truly awesome. And the Episode 1 add-on? Amazing. Episode 2, also awesome. However, I was horrified to notice that there's a gnome in the fucking game. An indestructible gnome that you can, if you choose, carry with you...

I lost my gnome early in the game, where he didn't reappear, thankfully, since I'd have been tempted to drag that lil' fucker throughout the game. Even my beloved Half-Life is not gnome-free!

GWD: Hornswoggle

I know the origin of this word: gnomes. Only a gnome would invent a word like "hornswoggle."

horn·swog·gle

tr.v. horn·swog·gled, horn·swog·gling, horn·swog·gles Chiefly Northern & Western U.S.

To bamboozle; deceive.

---

[Origin unknown.]

Our Living Language We do not know the origin of hornswoggle. We do know that it belongs to a group of "fancified" words that were particularly popular in the American West in the 19th century. Hornswoggle is one of the earliest, first appearing around 1829. It is possible that these words were invented to poke fun at the more "sophisticated" East. Some other words of this ilk are absquatulate, also first appearing in the 1820s, skedaddle, first attested in 1861 in Missouri, and discombobulate, first recorded in 1916.

39: Prog Rock

Now, you might think Elves are to blame for Progressive Rock, aka "Prog Rock." And I'm going to at least lay some of the blame on them for it, but not all of it. But, at the same time, I can't rule out a certain Gnomish influence to Prog. I think it's the evoking of faraway places and mystical realms that seems goddamned gnomish, as well as the sheer self-indulgent pointlessness of Prog.

Or maybe it's because one of the most horrid of Prog Rock bands has a gnome on their album. Oh, sure, it's a "gentle giant" (just like the band, get it?) -- but looking at that painting, you know what I see? A gnome. In fact, my first instinct is like "Wow, that gnome shrunk the band!"

GWD: Dillydally

Another gnomish nonsense compound that I had overlooked, likely because I was dillydallying. They can strip out the hyphen, but the gnomish aesthetic remains intact...

dil·ly·dal·ly

Pronunciation: \ˈdi-lē-ˌda-lē\

Function: intransitive verb

Etymology: reduplication of dally

Date: 1741

: to waste time by loitering or delaying : dawdle

GWD: Hoity-Toity

And you thought I'd been kidnapped by gnomes, right? It's interesting that the second definition of hoity-toity has come to largely dominated the popular understanding, overlooking the original, decidedly gnomish nature of the word.

¹hoi·ty–toi·ty

Pronunciation: \ˌhȯi-tē-ˈtȯi-tē, ˌhī-tē-ˈtī-tē\

Function: noun

Etymology: rhyming compound from English dial. hoit to play the fool

Date: 1668

: thoughtless giddy behavior


²hoi·ty–toi·ty

Pronunciation: \ˌhȯi-tē-ˈtȯi-tē, ˌhī-tē-ˈtī-tē\

Function: noun

Etymology: rhyming compound from English dial. hoit to play the fool

Date: 1668

:1 thoughtlessly silly or frivolous: FLIGHTY 2 marked by an air of assumed importance: HIGHFALUTIN

GWD: Shilly-Shally

You thought I had run out of nonsense hyphenated compounds? Not yet! And, as ever, the gnomish values of sowing confusion and uncertainty among human ranks remain intact with this word, as with so many of the others. This one is particularly egregious, since it sounds like you're drunkenly saying your friend Sally is being silly...

shilly–shally

Pronunciation: \ˈshi-lē-ˌsha-lē\

Function: adverb

Etymology: irregular reduplication of shall I

Date: 1700

: in an irresolute, undecided, or hesitating manner

38: Message T-shirts

The natural travel companion of the wacky hat is the message t-shirt. This is the tee that communicates something stupid (or, in gnome terms, "funny") to the onlooker. I suspect this is a gnomish sartorial prank perpetrated on unwary humans. You should know what you're getting into with a person who wears such things, although I do like this spin on the classic gnome "I'm With Stupid" tee shirt...

Yes, you certainly are, you damned gnome.

37: Spam

I can't be 100% certain if Spam is, in fact, crafted by gnomes (perhaps as a culinary prank inflicted on unsuspecting humanity), but there is something very intuitively gnomish about it.

The word itself, a fusion of other words, the senselessness of it, the gratuitous nature of it. And the product itself. Spam just seems like something a gnome would serve up to you, grinning slyly. Its whole "mystery meat" nature feels gnomish to me. Why eat real meat when you can crack open a can of Spam and nosh on that, instead? The fact that so many of the ad campaigns involved rhyming, too -- that also feels very gnomish to me, too.

Leprechauns: Are they gnomes?

Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, a mystery: are leprechauns gnomes? They are typically classed as a type of fairy, but they run perilously close to being gnomes -- goofy hats, often unaccountably and pointlessly jolly, impish senses of humor, trickster natures, a keen sense of mischief, and a desire to pull a fast one on humanity.

Some of the classic representations of them make me think maybe they are, in fact, gnomes. I mean, if you didn't know this was a leprechaun, you surely might mistake him for a gnome, no?

The "Leprechaun" movies certainly tried to warn people of the dire threat leprechauns posed humanity.

I don't know whether they are gnomes, or are merely Celtic cousins of gnomes, or are entirely unrelated. Certainly if you put Tinkerbell, a gnome, and a leprechaun in a lineup, most Gentle Readers would be hard-pressed to lump the leprechaun on the pixie side of the equation, toward Tinkerbell -- rather, the leprechaun would caucus with the gnome.

36: Bagpipes

Maybe it's because of St. Patrick's Day looming, but I can't help but think that the bagpipe as a musical instrument evinces telltale qualities of gnomish engineering. The combination of quirkiness and gratuitous invention just seem terribly gnomish. And I say that as one who likes bagpipes, after a fashion, while at the same time knowing that only a gnome or a gnomish fellow traveler would invent them, let alone actually play them. And the noise they make, they seem tailor-made to piss off your enemies, which seems also very gnomish. I'm sure a gnome persuaded a Celt long ago that the bagpipe was a good thing, and away they went...

GWD: Riffraff

Again, they might take away the hyphen, but the pattern remains: gnomespeak. Gnomish riffraff with their word-wankery.

riff·raff

Pronunciation: \ˈrif-ˌraf\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English ryffe raffe, from rif and raf every single one, from Anglo-French rif e raf altogether

Date: 15th century

1 a : disreputable persons b : rabble c : one of the riffraff
2 : refuse, rubbish

— riffraff adjective