GWD: Hodgepodge

In "hodgepodge," the gnomes got a little trickier, perhaps, realizing that if they hyphenated all of their nonsensically-redundant words, we'd be onto them. So, they went with a closed compound, here, but the gnomishness (and gnomish sentiments) remain intact...

hodge·podge
Pronunciation: \ˈhäj-ˌpäj\
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of hotchpotch
Date: 15th century

: a heterogeneous mixture : jumble

20: Kitsch

I had to eventually get around to it: kitsch. Kitsch is bread-and-butter to gnomes. If the gnomes had their wicked way with the world, we'd be awash in kitsch. And click on that link on Wikipedia, and 'lo and behold, what do you see as their photographic example of kitsch? A goddamned garden gnome (right). Accident? No, I don't think so.

Kitsch is gnomish culture in a nutshell. While we officially have the Germans to blame for kitsch, the gnomes are, themselves master artisans of kitsch, which is nicely defined in the Wikipedia entry...

Kitsch (English pronunciation: /ˈkɪtʃ/, as in German) is a German word denoting art that is considered an inferior, tasteless copy of an extant style of art or a worthless imitation of art of recognized value. The concept is associated with the deliberate use of elements that may be thought of as cultural icons [1] while making cheap mass-produced objects that are unoriginal. Kitsch also refers to the types of art that are aesthetically deficient (whether or not being sentimental, glamorous, theatrical, or creative) and that make creative gestures which merely imitate the superficial appearances of art through repeated conventions and formulae. Excessive sentimentality often is associated with the term.

The term is considered derogatory, denoting works executed to pander to popular demand alone and purely for commercial purposes rather than works created as self-expression by an artist.[2] The term is generally reserved for unsubstantial and gaudy works that are calculated to have popular appeal and are considered pretentious and shallow rather than genuine artistic efforts.

You see the operative words: worthless, excessive sentimentality, tasteless -- these are words that get gnomes a'giggling from their mushroom perches. Hassle Bandicoot yucking it up with his gnomish buddies, blowing smoke rings and having a jolly laugh at mankind's expense as they foist kitsch on an unsuspecting world.

Curiously, the etymology of "kitsch" might tip the pointy hat of the gnomes...

Another highly possibly theory is that it comes from the Hungarian word kicsi Hungarian pronunciation: [ˈkɪtʃɪ]/kis [kɪʃ] meaning little or small. Most likely through Austrian German.

Little or small? Like, hmmm, a GNOME?

Kitsch is the enemy of art, and is the enemy of the artist. Kitsch must be avoided at all costs. And lest you think it's just a matter of taste...

Relationship to totalitarianism

Other theorists over time also have linked kitsch to totalitarianism and its propaganda. The Czech writer Milan Kundera, in his book The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1984), defined it as "the absolute denial of shit". He wrote that kitsch functions by excluding from view everything that humans find difficult with which to come to terms, offering instead a sanitized view of the world, in which "all answers are given in advance and preclude any questions".

In its desire to paper over the complexities and contradictions of real life, kitsch, Kundera suggested, is intimately linked with totalitarianism. In a healthy democracy, diverse interest groups compete and negotiate with one another to produce a generally acceptable consensus; by contrast, "everything that infringes on kitsch," including individualism, doubt, and irony, "must be banished for life" in order for kitsch to survive. Therefore, Kundera wrote, "Whenever a single political movement corners power we find ourselves in the realm of totalitarian kitsch."

For Kundera, "Kitsch causes two tears to flow in quick succession. The first tear says: How nice to see children running on the grass! The second tear says: How nice to be moved, together with all mankind, by children running on the grass! It is the second tear that makes kitsch kitsch."

So, you see, it's not just a matter of taste -- it's a matter of life, philosophy, art, freedom, and humanity itself! Down with kitsch! And, once again, if you know somebody who digs kitsch, they're a fellow traveler of gnomedom. Watch out!

Words

I could have stretched out these latest words over several days, but felt it important to sling a bunch of them to you, gentle reader, in a bundle, so you could better see the pattern of gnomish hyphenated nonsense words. Thankfully, most everyday people don't salt their language with gnomespeak too much, or we'd all be driving each other mad in short order, which is probably an outcome that would be amusing to the gnomes lurking in the margins of this world, so long as it's a merry madness.

GWD: Hunky-Dory

No, not the Bowie album, but yet another of the gnomish hyphenated nonsense words. You can ask your gnomish friend, Hassle Q. Bandicoot, you can say "Hassle, how are you feeling today?" and Hassle can't say "I'm fine." No, no. Hassle says "Why, I'm hunky-dory!" (and the proceeds to juggle and unicycle his merry way down the street). Notice below: Origin Unknown. No longer. Another gnomish hyphenated nonsense compound...

hun·ky–do·ry
Pronunciation: \ˌhəŋ-kē-ˈdȯr-ē\
Function: adjective
Etymology: obsolete English dial. hunk home base + -dory (of unknown origin)
Date: 1866

: quite satisfactory : fine

GWD: Helter-Skelter

The infamous helter-skelter is entirely gnomish (and, you can see the gnomish values of haphazard, costly haste, confusion, and disorder well-represented here). And that twinkle-eyed gnome, Charlie Manson (below), took helter-skelter and ran with it, now didn't he?

hel·ter–skel·ter
Pronunciation: \ˌhel-tər-ˈskel-tər\

Function: adverb

Etymology: perhaps from Middle English skelten to come, go

Date: 1593

1 : in undue haste, confusion, or disorder
2 : in a haphazard manner

Bombadil? Rumplestiltskin? No, Charles Manson. Looking about ready to decorate somebody's garden. WITH BLOOD!

GWD: Hurly-Burly

Gnomes never run out of these words, do they?

hur·ly–bur·ly
Pronunciation: \ˌhər-lē-ˈbər-lē\

Function: noun

Etymology: probably alteration & reduplication of hurling, gerund of hurl

Date: 1539

: uproar, tumult

— hurly–burly adjective

GWD: Flim-Flam

Note the uncertain-yet-Scandinavian origins of this word, and the meaning of it. "Deceptive nonsense?" -- from Old Norse "flim" meaning "mockery?" Gnomes. Gnomes, I tellya!

flim-flam
Pronunciation: \ˈflim-ˌflam\

Function: noun

Etymology: perhaps of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse flim mockery

Date: circa 1570

1 : deceptive nonsense
2 : deception, fraud

GWD: Razzmatazz

No doubt gnomes sought to get with the times with razzmatazz, showing that even they could be hip, swingin', and with it, while maintaining their whimsical lameness...

razz·ma·tazz
Pronunciation: \ˌraz-mə-ˈtaz\

Function: noun

Etymology: probably alteration of razzle-dazzle

Date: 1942

1 : razzle-dazzle 3
2 : double-talk 2
3 : vim, zing

GWD: Pell-Mell

Moving through gnomish hyphenated nonsense compounds, the venerable pell-mell makes a showing. Note the continuing gnomish memes of confusion and disorder...

pell–mell
Pronunciation: \ˌpel-ˈmel\

Function: adverb

Etymology: Middle French pelemele

Date: 1590

1 : in mingled confusion or disorder
2 : in confused haste

— pell–mell adjective or noun

Often makes me think of Pell Grants. You definitely don't want to fill out your Pell Grant applications pell-mell, gentle reader.

19: Hurdy-Gurdy

The hurdy-gurdy manages a doubleshot of gnomishness -- ridiculous in name and in conception, gleefully eccentric, pointlessly innovative and affectedly whimsical. It is, without a doubt, a gnomish musical instrument foisted on innocent humanity, long ago, and now the province of loons and hipsters.

The coolest thing about the hurdy-gurdy is Donovan's psychedelic tune, "Hurdy Gurdy Man," but beyond that, this contraption has little proper place with humanity, and has everything to do with gnomes, and their invidious agenda.

For example, look at this poor waif of a girl (left) when she first receives her hurdy-gurdy. Just a whey-faced lass with grand drems of making it in a difficult and dangerous world, grateful for this gnomish gift given to her by the twinkly-eyed tinker who came to town. "Why, sure, Donatella! You can make a fortune with this yonder hurdy-gurdy! You can grind away happy little tunes that villagers will dance to, tossing stray coppers at your feet like they were junebugs flitting from fields of barley on a summer's day!"

I'll add the word to the list of gnomish vocabulary words, for surely the hurdy-gurdy eminently qualifies for inclusion, both as a word and as a musical instrument...

hur·dy–gur·dy

Pronunciation: \ˌhər-dē-ˈgər-dē, ˈhər-dē-ˌ\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural hur·dy–gurdies

Etymology: probably imitative

Date: 1749

1 : a stringed instrument in which sound is produced by the friction of a rosined wheel turned by a crank against the strings and the pitches are varied by keys
2 : any of various mechanical musical instruments (as the barrel organ)

Look what happens to that same girl, just a few years later, as she's ground her life away on the rosin-dusted wheel of the pernicious, gnomish hurdy-gurdy (below). Hopes and dreams turned to dust and ash, blind, bald, bearded, slack-jawed, hopeless, yet still spinning her hurdy-gurdy wheel, vainly, desperately hoping that gnomish gift will bring her that promised paydirt.

A lesson to us all: Beware of gnomes bearing gifts, for they will only bring doom to feckless, hapless humanity.

GWD: Willy-Nilly

By now, you will have noticed a tendency for gnomespeak to involve hyphens and repetition of nonsense words (e.g., razzle-dazzle, fuddy-duddy, heebie-jeebies, etc.) -- here is yet another addition to the gnomish lexicon, one that actually has a longer provenance than many of the others, curiously enough...

wil·ly–nil·ly

Pronunciation: \ˌwi-lē-ˈni-lē\

Function: adverb or adjective

Etymology: alteration of will I nill I or will ye nill ye or will he nill he

Date: 1608

1 : by compulsion : without choice
2 : in a haphazard or spontaneous manner

But notice the gnomish values of impulsiveness and whimsy are retained in it. And in gnomish aesthetics, why use one word, when you can use two nonsense words bound by a hyphen to communicate your pointless point?

18: Rube Goldberg Machines

I haven't delved into the gnomish addiction to contraptions too much, trying to lay the foundations of gnomedom before proceeding to its deeper mysteries, but the time is right to bring up the Rube Goldberg Machine as a terribly gnomish notion, succinctly defined as:

A Rube Goldberg machine is a deliberately over-engineered machine that performs a very simple task in a very complex fashion, usually including a chain reaction... the expression has expanded to denote any form of overly confusing or complicated system.

Over-engineered, overly confusing or complicated? Gnomish, in other words. I imagine a proper gnomish household to be full of such contraptions.

GWD: Fuddy-Duddy

Anybody who gainsays the gnomish agenda is invariably a fuddy-duddy, which is, of course, a perfectly gnomish word: meaningless, whimsical, pointless, idiotic, gratuitous...

fud·dy–dud·dy

Pronunciation: \ˈfə-dē-ˌdə-dē\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural fud·dy–dud·dies

Etymology: origin unknown

Date: circa 1904

: one that is old-fashioned, unimaginative, or conservative

— fuddy–duddy adjective